


Compulsion

by slimwhistler



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:12:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18751555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slimwhistler/pseuds/slimwhistler
Summary: Jaime's musings after their first time together.Lying beside a sleeping Brienne, his mind still hazy with drink and his body still languid from lovemaking, Jamie realizes that he still isn’texactlysure why he’d followed her.





	Compulsion

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know that we all want to fix **that** scene, but I was struck by how, after Jaime barges into Brienne's room, he doesn't seem to know exactly what he wants to do? So this is just one exploration of that. 
> 
> (Also, this is my first fic in three years, and my first Jaime/Brienne. The various bits and pieces of this just kept surfacing and not giving me any peace, though, so here I am. I hope you enjoy my small offering as much as I am enjoying all of yours!

Lying beside a sleeping Brienne, his mind still hazy with drink and his body still languid from lovemaking, Jaime realizes that he still isn’t **exactly** sure why he’d followed her. 

Had it been Tyrion’s ridiculous game? As the wine had continued to flow, she’d embraced it with enthusiasm, laughing and joshing as he’d never seen. She’d given herself over to joy much in the same way she’d devoted herself to duty and honor: wholly and without reservation. It had entranced him. He’s selfish enough to be glad he’d persuaded her to imbibe without restraint, for otherwise he would likely never have seen that Brienne, a vision of her in a world where battles were few, where she could be playful and easy in the company of those who esteemed her. He has sense enough to know that such a glimpse was precious. Suddenly, fiercely, he’s filled with a yearning to be the one who could kindle that joy without the help of drink. He doesn’t flatter himself for certain that he would, or even should, but oh, to be the man who could!

Had it been to apologize for the impudence of his brother, to assure her that Tyrion had not meant to mock but likely only to meddle, as was his wont? To give her a target upon which to vent her ire, or humiliation or shame? Convince her, if she had felt any such things, that she need not, that the shame lay with those who could not recognize her value as they ought, that her favor was worth keeping for someone who could see her for the extraordinary woman that she was?

Or had it simply been that he’d wanted her? That once he’d known, he’d been selfish enough to want it to be him she first took to her bed?

Jaime doesn’t know for certain. All he knows is that he’s had the compulsion to stay close to her ever since she stood up to the Stark girl for him, to marvel at her, help her, protect her, give her anything he can, whether it be a knighthood or all the nights he has. He’s driven by the compulsion that whatever _it_ is, it has to be **him**. Perhaps it’s even that he has to be the one to make her happy. He doesn’t deserve that, of course, but he’s selfish enough to know that if she lets him, he’s going to try.

**Author's Note:**

> *peeks out nervously* I hope you enjoyed. It's only a small ficlet, I know, cobbled out of various pieces that just came to me, but if it actually worked for you I'd love to know! Thank you. ♥


End file.
